Solitude

So South Africa is in lock-down since yesterday, for three weeks. We currently have 1187 cases and 1 death. I'm very happy with the way government has handled things thus far... shutting the country down early. You're only allowed out of the house for food or medical reasons. No walking/running outside even. As per my previous post, I've been self-isolating quite a bit before yesterday anyway. My sister and parents have been great with bringing me some groceries earlier this week. I'm in lock-down on my own, as I'm too scared to share a house with my family members who have still been going to work and the shops. I'll just be stressing all the time. So maybe later on once I know they're healthy I might move over to one of their places.

I do however think that CF, 3-week hospitalisations, post transplant isolation and being on the waiting list for transplants twice has prepared me for this. I've spent a lot of time on my own before. Even if I was able to see visitors, I was basically alone all the time. So I'm pretty used to and enjoy my own company.

My first vivid experience of being on my own was when I was in hospital for the better part of 3 months when I was 6 years old with pneumonia/infections. After that I was lucky to do IV antibiotics at home, so my parents were always there. Waiting for both my lung transplants also involved a lot of time spent by myself. When I was in rejection with my first set of lungs, I also had a few stints in hospital for 2 or 3 weeks at a time, where every night was spent alone. I don't sleep well in hospital, so watching series in bed till late at night is what you do! So this lock-down is WAY better than all of those times. No needles, no feeling like shit... in fact feeling super healthy. No fighting for every breath. No disturbances throughout the night. No 4am bloods, just peace and quiet. Feeling lucky.

I do however need to limit my time on social media if I want to stay sane. Apart from anxiety about my health, the amount of stupidity I see on Facebook and Twitter works me up! It KILLS me to see how dumb people can be.... and selfish. Along with all the fake news. I've been unfriending people and purposefully avoiding Facebook today.

It's going to be tough for me not to be allowed to run outside. It's really been keeping my anxiety levels down this past while. I went running in the driveway today... (there's this challenge where you do 2km per day in your garden for every day of the lock-down, and then you would have done 42km), and it actually wasn't too bad. It was sprinting in one direction, walking back, and repeat! I also did a workout with my dumbells, resistance bands, foam-roller etc. I'm definitely going to be gaining weight, but I just don't want to lose muscle too! I've worked hard at being where I am strength-wise.

I'm really nervous about the impact this virus will have on SA... just like everyone I suppose. I also wonder when it will be safe to go back into society again. Just because lock-down is over in three weeks' time or whenever, doesn't mean it will be safe from catching COVID_19. And seeing as this virus attacks the respiratory system, I'm REALLY scared of getting it. Especially since a lot of articles suggest permanent lung damage. Just thinking about it makes me feel short of breath! This isolation does help though. Let's hope that "This too shall pass"...