Fitness declaration, dreams and nostalgia

Today I miss exercising a lot. Intense exercise, not the sad weight-lifting that I currently do. Spinning, playing squash, running... It's been 4 years since I've been able to do this properly. Four years of gradual deterioration. Preceded by 5.5 years of the most amazing breathing ability ever known to myself. I miss it SOOOO MUCH and wish I had worked harder at my fitness when I had the chance. It wasn't easy with working full-time, but I wish I pushed myself harder. I should have played more squash, done more spinning classes, just more of EVERYTHING CARDIO. 

There is nothing like the feeling of your lungs FILLING with air, and your heart beating, not because you climbed a flight of stairs and want to pass out, but because you are ALIVE and MOVING. I think it's taken me 23.5 years of shitty breathing, those 5.5 years of brilliant breathing, and these 4 years of losing it again to totally appreciate and realise how brilliant it is and how it should never be taken for granted. 

If I ever get the opportunity to breathe freely with healthy lungs again, I will make it my goal to push my body to its physical limits. I will try new activities, I will join a squash club... I want to run further than before. I want to do spinning again! I want to SWEAT! I am able to do so little at a time now, that I haven't sweated properly in AGES (except when my blood sugar drops too low, but that's a whole different topic!). I swear there will be no stopping me... 

This is what I dream of... it keeps me motivated. It pushes me to do what little I can right now. One day I will escape this frustrated feeling... one way or another. Until then these daydreams (and sometimes actual dreams at night) will keep me going. Patience... it will be worth it.

Meeting Carmen in person & Louz and Wouter's visit!

I've had an amazing couple of days. It feels like my birthday or something with the friends that I've seen and the unnecessary presents that I've been surprised with! Feeling very lucky and blessed right now. Louzanne and Wouter arrived just before lunchtime on Friday. Chris and I picked them up, and we met up with Chrislie, Adriaan and Andrew at Paul for lunch. On Friday evening we had a games night ar Brendan's house which was so much fun.

On Sat we had a bit of a historical tour of Pretoria. We went to the Union Buildings and Melrose House. It was followed by a Starbucks and a completely different kind of Pretoria culture! On Sat eve we had supper at Casalinga, an Italian restaurant in Muldersdrift. I've only been there once before but the food is AMAZING. We weren't disappointed. Super busy but awesome day!

On Sunday we spent a chilled day at my parents' house. We also watched the movie "A United Kingdom", which is a must-see!!! I was pretty wiped out after Saturday's activities. Yesterday we had brunch with my sis and Adriaan in Melville, before heading for Constitution Hill. I've never been there before, and so glad I was finally able to! We didn't have time or O2 battery-life to see all of it, so need to go back at some point! If you live in Jozi, you really need to go on a guided tour there!

So all in all a brilliant weekend! Miss my friend so much, wish we lived closer to each other!!!!

Today I got to meet a NEW friend in person!!! Carmen!!! We've been chatting for a few months now, and she's in town at the moment to we met up! Yayness! It was great, like we've known each other forever. I was so spoiled with gifts, and completely unprepared to return the favour! Next time! I must say, since I stopped working and have gone onto disability, I've met so many amazing people through Love Life; Gift Life and just in general (like Carmen). Each chapter of life has it's own surprises and benefits. Trying to look past the annoying-ness and frustration of my current HEALTH situation and appreciate the quality time I've been able to spend with amazing new people and my favourite "old" people.

On a sad note though, a girl that I knew who was waiting for lungs too lost her battle on Friday :-( I wasn't expecting it to happen and really hoped that she would get lungs :-( It gives me more motivation to work hard on LLGL, but at the same time it makes me feel so hopeless and like we're fighting a losing battle sometimes... *sigh*

35 years!

Happy wedding anniversary to my parents for tomorrow! 35 Years of being married is no small feat! May there be many happy years ahead still! We love you!

Had a fairly boring week. Bio has continued to be a killer for this whole month now and feeling more short of breath. Not fun. Had quick brunch with Andrew on Thursday which was nice, and met up with another friend I used to work with for coffee at her house later that day. Yesterday we saw Cecile, Dean and their cutest little boy Ben! Friendliest baby EVER!

Had supper at my parents' house last night with the sister and Pierre, and today we've done nothing apart from lying on the couch and watching a movie. (I did to a load of laundry and washed the dishes at least). Finished another toy for the soon-to-arrive niece/nephew.... was supposed to be a koala but looks more like a mouse?? In 2 months' time the baby will be here! Nothing else to report on.... have a great week!

First week of 2017 done!

The first week of the year has been good. I love how everyone is coming back from their holidays and friends are here again. I've also been back at bio this week. That was ROUGH after the 2 weeks off, but did good I think. Definitely a very necessary activity for me!!! I have zero cardio capability but have to keep pushing on with what I CAN do, even if recovery after every activity takes a few mins and I feel like I'm dying. I am normally not a fan of the corny "LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH" words appearing on everything (linen, crockery, ALL HOUSE WARE, some people just put the words on their walls like art) trend that has been going around (and hopefully ending soon) - sorry if I'm offending anyone! My point is that I love this shirt that becomes so ironic when I wear it! It's also conveniently a summary of everything I want by the end of this year, should I forget :-)

Something else that was awesome is that I got to see the final product that a student did using me as inspiration. She had to do the framework of a book pretty much for her main Book design and Editing project of the year. Well done Chanelle it looked amazing! So much of talent! These illustrations tell such an amazing story.

Chris was away this week with my dad to Mapungubwe, so it was quite nice to have the house to myself and a little change in routine. Had the most amazing evening last night at Brendan's house! We had such fun, and with the rain that started falling ended up having a mini dance party in the kitchen (where I could conveniently plug in my portable O2 and turn it up!!!!) Haven't had as much fun in a long time and got home way after midnight via Uber! Paying for it today (and possibly tomorrow!!) but was so worth it.

So all in all very positive vibes for 2017 so far! That's exactly what I need.

Very exciting stuff and some more sadness

So much has been happening that I can't even keep up with all of it on the blog! Firstly, my sister is 22 weeks pregnant and I'm going to be an aunt! Soooooooo very excited for 2017. Also, our lounge has finally been redone by my talented friend Andrew!!! Check out the amazing transformation on his blog! Purposefully not posting any pics here so you have to go and look on his blog if you want to see :-)

Had a great weekend... on Sat I had lunch with one of my best friends of all time, and in the evening we had supper at Andrew's house. I haven't had such a good time in a while, very nice to just relax with friends, great food, drinks and laughter. Can't remember when last I got to to bed after midnight! On Sunday we had my parents and sis and Pierre over for a braai to unveil the new lounge, so that was great too.

In general I've just been more tired after the last hospital admission I had in October and a bit more short of breath which is frustrating. I need to limit what I do in a day or schedule a rest day after a "busy" day. Friday was one of those days where I just had to do nothing because I was EXHAUSTED after the week. The day of chilling at home just watching TV and not much else helped a lot, as Sat I was ready for activity again. It's a balancing act, because I need to stay as active as possible and do normal things, but my lungs get tired so easily that I need to cater for them too. So selfish :-p

The sad news is that Kirstie Tancock passed away on the first of December... I blogged about her just the other day... less than a month ago in fact :-( She was such a hero in the transplant and CF communities for surviving two double lung transplants and her physical strength that she exhibited through her pole dancing. She was made "famous" by a documentary on her called "Love on the transplant list" and I've blogged about her a few times before. Here are a few links to articles published following her death.

http://www.itv.com/news/westcountry/update/2016-12-01/kirstie-tancock-an-extraordinary-life-remembered/

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-devon-38168972

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3989472/Pole-dancing-teacher-cystic-fibrosis-endured-two-double-lung-transplants-dies-27-just-days-writing-heartbreaking-bucket-list-never-fulfil.html

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/double-lung-transplant-survivor-kirstie-9370804?ICID=FB_mirror_main

RIP Kirstie

Sunday in Hospital

Got admitted to hospital on Friday after not feeling well for a few days. Been having a low grade fever and bad headaches and feeling a bit more short of breath. So after a 5 month break from hosp I'm back! Can't complain though, 5 months better than the previous 3-month breaks. And I was worried that this might happen close to Christmas and that would have been way worse.

Before this bout of "sickness" we had a great time last weekend in Secunda meeting the cutest little baby boy Ben!!!! He is soooo flipping cute. Had so much fun playing with him.

Workouts have also been going well before this week... got some new inspirational exercise clothing from Mr Price Sport. Hopefully I won't lose too much muscle in hosp now :-( Will need to make sure I try to keep on moving.

At least I also have some more time to work on my current crochet blanket. This one is for Chris (despite the pink in there!). Going to be epic once done.

Not much else to report on, although I think that was quite enough action for one week. Will be in hosp for 2 weeks.

Local Touristing with Anna and Casey

In between all our adventures around the country we also showed Anna and Casey some local spots... The Apartheid Museum (which was AMAZING,,,, my first time there and we didn't have a chance to finish up properly as we ran out of time so have to go back again), the Voortrekker Monument (for some insight on some of my forefathers and a really stunning monument, the Union Buildings and Nelson Mandela Statue (I haven't seen the statue yet myself and it was awesome!)

We also exposed them to some Cape Malay food at District Six Eatery which was YUMMY and the best milk tart ever... I took Anna shopping in Sandton City and we got matching cat books. Also note the matching kitty t-shirts Casey got us with a pic of a kitty that ate too much.... basically what Anna and I do the whole time. They were also fascinated by the big traffic cones we saw at Impala centre.

I also took them for a Saturday afternoon drive through the "scary and dangerous" Johannesburg CBD (I think my driving was scarier than the location). We also had brunch at the best Lemon Meringue spot in Jozi... the Silver Birch at Lifestyle Garden Centre.

I think I've covered everything now! Finally! It was a great trip. Don't know when we will see them again but soooo fortunate to have had this time together. AND that my health lasted throughout the trip.... We were really worried after January's lung collapses and with my lung functions dropping over the last few months. But I made it and the trip was awesome. It would have obviously been better if I could breathe properly and not have to hold back physically and the O2 concentrator didn't take up so much space in the car and I didn't have to worry about all the extra stuff I need to pack these days. But all things considered I was very fortunate to have experienced this and seen all these places again that are so close to my heart. And that my health didn't deteriorate during the trip and we didn't have to rush back for any "medical emergencies",

I don't know what the future holds but I really hope that more travelling will take place one day. We will be going somewhere close by in March for my dad's 60'th birthday so that should be a little something at least.

For now it's back to reality... Keeping on keeping on and making the most of what I can do.