What. A Week. What started out as me being worried that I have Covid, turned into me being worried I have cancer that has already spread.
On the 8th I started feeling a bit crap. Extremely tired, headaches, sore body and some random nausea. I thought I had exercised too much, because I did sprints on the Monday, so thought my body was sore from that. On the Thursday I went for a Covid test, which was negative. On the Friday my Dr sent me for bloods, as well as another nasal swab for other respiratory viruses such as flu. On Saturday it showed that all those results were normal, but that my infection markers were very high. So I went for another Covid test. It was negative again. On Sunday I felt rather like death, and there was a bump under one of my old drain scars that was very sore and swollen. My Dr said I should be admitted.
I saw him on Sunday, and he said the lump might be an abscess, which would explain the infection levels and the pain etc. I started Augmentin antibiotics, had a chest x-ray done immediately, and had an ultrasound booked for Monday morning, plus a lung function test. Chest X-ray was normal (and beautiful to me, as always, may I add).
The ultrasound of my scar just showed scar tissue. No abscess. I started feeling even more feverish, and by the time I got fetched for lung function, I was shaking so badly from having a high temp, that it was decided that I'm not going to do lung function because it wouldn't be accurate. My lungs didn't seem to be the problem anyway. Dr then suspected a broken rib, and booked a bone scan. You get injected with some sort of radioactive fluid 3 hours before the scan that gets absorbed into your bones, and makes the scan possible. The white dot on my arm was where I was injected. By then I was feeling much better though, and the fever had stopped completely. (Note how nicely you can see my N95 mask on the scan)
The bone scan report stated that there was possible bone metastases.
"Bone metastasis occurs when cancer cells spread from their original site to a bone. Nearly all types of cancer can spread (metastasize) to the bones. But some types of cancer are particularly likely to spread to bone, including breast cancer and prostate cancer."
Dr immediately ordered x-rays of my sternum and femurs. This is where the suspected metastasis was. I also had a mammogram done, as well as a full abdominal ultrasound. Those were both normal. There is a cyst on a kidney and my pancreas but those are nothing to worry about. Boobs are fine.
The report came back and mentioned "Non healed sternal fracture" and more concerning, "A lytic bony lesion in this region cannot be excluded". Obviously I googled that, and Dr Google informed me : Also known as bone lesions or osteolytic lesions, lytic lesions are spots of bone damage that result from cancerous plasma cells building up in your bone marrow.". So bone cancer fears.
Next Up was a massive CT scan with contrast, all the way from above the knee to neck. My kidneys had to be prepared for this, as the iodine that they inject can be rough on them. So a Bicarbonate drip was started Wednesday afternoon. I also had to drink Solmucol for kidney prep, and Gastrografin (Gastrografin is a contrast medium which contains iodine. It is used to clearly show on X-rays the area of your body that your doctor wants to investigate.). On Thursday morning I was woken up at 6:30 (after just falling back to sleep from the daily bloods and observations) for more gastrografin. CT scan was set for 8:30. Unfortunately there was a big trauma case(s), and I only went for the CT scans at midday. By which time I had to be given a glucose drip due to my blood sugar dropping too low for a second time. The injection of the contrast was extremely sore, my little vein was on her last, and I suspect it was a LOT of contrast.
By this time I felt like my life was over. That 13 years on immune suppression had caught up with me. That despite regular checking for skin cancer and pap smears, another type of cancer had decided to come and take me, and that it had even metastised already. I was making plans to use the rest of the money I have to travel and just die with lots of morphine. No chemo. I felt like life was playing some sick joke on me. I would die with perfect lungs. I wanted to scream and break things. Run away. Wanted to cry about how unfair it was, but at the same time, I've seen much more "unfairness" than this in my life with other friends dying young ect. So what makes me so special that I can't die after 10 years and 3 years with transplanted lungs? I've already surpassed the averages. Why is this unfair?
At 15:00 my mom came to visit, and at about 15:15 my Dr walked in and said the CT scans were fine. I can go home immediately. It felt like I had won the lotto. Shock. Relief. More relief. I don't think I have ever heard better news in my life. It MIGHT compare with being told they have lungs for you.
The sternum issue is just the way it healed after 2 transplants. But there's nothing wrong with it. (I realised afterwards... the radiologists have never SEEN a healed sternum of someone who has had 2 bi-lateral lung transplants. There is just me who is alive in SA???).
The femur has a tiny "normal" little growth that is not a problem either and happens. Most people never find out about it. So I'm clear. There is nothing wrong with me. By then the oral Augmentin had also fixed whatever infection there was. So I came home, feeling absolutely fine, apart from being tired AF, and like I've aged about 5 years in 5 days.
The lump under my scar had gone away by itself. It was still a bit sore to the touch, but was literally nothing. Unexplained. During this drama, my immune suppression has been lowered slightly, and Cellcept has been put back up, but Neoral and Certican are going to stay a bit lower.
These past two mornings waking up in my own bed with no fear of imminent death or needles being stuck into me, and breathing easily, has been heaven. Absolute bliss. I'm very far from ready to die. I have a niece on the way. I have my family. I have the best friends ever. I actually feel fucking fantastic (apart from the past 2 weeks). Better than I have felt in my entire life. This was the first hospital admission for being sick in over 3 years.
I'm seeing my Dr again for a check up on the 1st of October. Hopefully all my bloods are back to normal, and I'll finally have that lung function test done. Saying this week was an emotional rollercoaster is putting it mildly. But I'm so so so relieved to be fine.
