The next thing I recall is being stuck in one of those dreams you can't get out of, where you are trying to wake yourself up. Dreamt I was being buried alive and had to unlock a code in order for them to stop throwing dirt on me and for me to breathe. The code I had to unlock was on the back of the lid of the coffin (that was lilac????). Eventually I gave up on the code and just waited for everything to stop, but it wouldn't.
Heard someone calling me and telling me to wake up but still couldn't figure out HOW to wake up. Thankfully eventuality I did, and was soooo relieved to be awake with my Dr standing there as well as soon thereafter my physio. Was still vented with 2 drains and had to wait a while for blood gas results before they could extubate me. Thank God for special angels keeping you calm when you need them most! Just felt pure relief that the nightmare was over.
On Sunday the reality hit and I struggled to cope with ICU. Confused as to what happened and feeling restrained and having tubes everywhere, making breathing feel harder and sending HR through the roof was just horrible. I suppose with transplant it's different because you expect it to happen and you're probably more sedated or whatever, but it was really tough.
Luckily Monday morning I could come back to sect 7. Even though extremely bloated from steroids and muscles sooooo weak and on so much O2 (on Monday that is) with no appetite and bruises everywhere Sect 7 is just Heaven.
Medically what happened basically is that BOS (chronic rejection) creates air pockets of CO2 in your lungs. With the biopsy happening the air pressure in lungs changed and while i was in recovery it seems like 2 popped, causing bleeding and collapsing or whatever. Luckily my brilliant drs were there and figured it out and I'm here recovering.
Recovery is taking time but I think it's going well, making progress every day. Eating more, walking further, managing off the O2 for little bits of time. Steroids also lessened now so hopefully less bloated soon. Got a PICC line inserted into arm yesterday to try and prevent further IV needle pricks.
Plan is to keep me here for another 12 days, do a complete course of IV antibiotics. (Biopsy showed PSEUDOMONAS and inflamation.... So same bug I had in Oct... And prob here to stay). Hopefully I can get back to where I was at the beginning of the year lung wise.
All the hosp staff and my family (and friends) have been SUPER. Love everyone. Special love to hubby Chris for being great and doing exactly what needs to be done with calmness and love and still coping with the rest of life. Loves you xxx