Sunday, August 3, 2008

very very upsetting news


I was just on facebook now, surfing around, when I went to one of my CF friends from the USA's page, Samantha. We've had contact for about a year, and chatted a lot before transplant. She's my age and got lungs just before Christmas, about a month before me. I know she had a long recovery, but we've chatted again since, and she was doing OK. Well just saw on her wall that she passed away... recently. I don't know any of the other friends, and wouldn't have known if I didn't go her profile...


I'm SO SAD... Why did my transplant work out fine so far, and hers didn't? What makes me special? Do I even deserve it? And I don't mean it in a self-pitying way, but when I see what Gina and so many other are going through, and my friends waiting for lungs, then I can't help wondering why I'm still here. It's just not fair dammit. They deserve a second chance too. And what am I doing with MY LIFE to really appreciate life and my new lungs??? Wish I had more answers...


Rest In Peace Samantha, and breathe easy now. I'm going to miss you.

8 comments:

Melinda said...

'n Skrif wat vir my baie beteken op die oomblik is Romeine 14:8... onthou jy wat ek vir jou in op 1 Jan '08 gese het oor "8"? Ek glo net dat die Here vir jou 'n groot plan het, en als wat gebeur in jou & ander CF mense se lewens 'n groot getuienis is vir ander van ons wat als so vanselfsprekend aanvaar. Ons kan almal by jou leer hoe om die lewe ten volle te leef :)
xMx

Kelly said...

Sometimes there is no logic to why others suffer more than us but I think God has a reason for everything. We just can't figure out His reasons sometimes and that makes it even harder to take when we lose friends, especially at such a young age. I'm not sure there are any answers really. I wish there were.

Take care of you

xx

MilePost13 said...

I'm sorry, Alice.

Destini said...

I am so sorry to hear of your friend's passing. I am sure that was quite a blow to you. I am praying for you still, Alice. We don't always know the plans that God has in store for us and why things happen the way they do. We do know that he is faithful and is in control. Somewhere along the way, I am sure we will be able to see the blessings that come in the midst of the pain. Please do not lose heart.

Anonymous said...

Yeah...I feel so sorry for the people that struggle post transplant. It must be terrible reading about how well some cf's do after their lung transplant, when finally you get your lungs and its not the fairytale you expected. This is very sad.

Guess what you take from this is; cherish every moment of your life, in sickness and in health.

sorry om te hoor van jou friend. =(

Don, SA

Cindy said...

Thinking of you tonight.

Cyber hugs to you.

Cindy in USA

drained in sj said...

I tried to start my comment 3 times with no success. I have decided to steal from milepost13: I'm sorry, Alice. (And I am thankful that you are doing well.)
Lou

Kathy said...

I came across you blog via CF Husband and have been reading Gina's too. The suffereing some people go through is incomprehensible to me. And seeming random from a human perspective.

I'm sorry your friend didn't get the longer healthier life she'd hoped for here.

Bless you.

Kathy in Canada